Why I Hated Kindergarten

This isn't really about kindergarten; this is more about how God takes us from where we're at to where we need to go. But I did hate kindergarten. They didn't teach kindergartners to read in those days, which was a great disappointment to me. But the main reason I hated kindergarten was: my only friends, Lisa and Lynn, both moved away, leaving me feeling very alone in that school, and there was way too much playtime to remind me that I was a loser in the social world. I decided I was unwanted (which probably wasn't true). That made things worse, because how was I going to find the courage to pursue a friendship with anyone, when I believed they didn't want me? This situation continued for six long years. Then in seventh grade, some wonderful friends came into my life. (By the way, I had grown up with these girls and knew them before seventh grade. But we just never connected with each other until then.) By age 12 though, I was fully convinced that I was a social failure, and there was a deep and lingering sadness in my heart from all those years of loneliness.
Fast forward to college, when I was trying to decide whether I was going to let Jesus have my life. He had made it clear to me that He was supposed to be my Master. I just wasn't yet sure that was a good idea. I knew that following Jesus included inviting others to follow Him. And that could get me labeled as a Jesus freak, jeopardizing my chances of starting over my social life, which was my #1 goal in college.
Then one day I was walking the half mile from my dorm to campus, and God reminded me of a Bible verse I'd seen on a Lutheran Rally Day pin: "I am with you always" (Matthew 28:20). I knew that God was speaking to me, and those five words spoke volumes. He (we're talking GOD here) really WANTED to be involved in my small, ordinary, boring life. Every minute of it. And that said love to me. Then it became clear that since He cared about me that much, He would do what was best for me; so I could trust Him with my whole life. From that moment on, I was his, heart and soul.
Not until recently did I begin to realize why all that loneliness in my childhood was necessary. I had to feel a need and see that Jesus meets it. I had a sad and lonely heart and I knew it. As soon as Jesus told me that He wanted me, I wanted Him. How perfect.
I'm so glad that the Lord pursued me when I wasn't looking for Him, because that further proves to me that He wants me.
Now I am a Jesus freak, and I love it.

December's Letter of the Month

Letter of the month: J for Jesus!

And since December is the time for giving gifts, let me tell you what Jesus has given us: Himself. And when you have Jesus, you have everything. 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 says, "He who establishes us with you in Christ and anointed us is God, who also sealed us and GAVE US THE SPIRIT IN OUR HEARTS" (the Spirit--that's HIM). Love it, love it. When I say He gives us everything, I do mean everything. He told me that He put His love in my heart (Romans 5:5), He's always thinking of me (Psalm 139:1), and He's so happy that I am His. I get pictures in my mind, and I can see His wonderful smiling face all the time, all the time. Nothing makes Him stop loving me. It's too good to be true, but it is true. Thank you Jesus, SO much.