The other day I blogged about connecting with God. Well, today I had some trouble with that. I felt so alone, in the middle of my quiet time when I normally am connecting with God. Which begs the question, where was God, then? Christians know the answer to this question, but my heart was doubting that the Lord was with me, and I think this happens to me a lot. Until a few years ago, I hadn't really learned about connecting with people just for the sake of connecting. Apparently this is automatic for most women, but not for me. Anyhow, the result is that I've been disconnected a lot. Seems that I've expected that to happen with God too. But He doesn't ever go away, even for a second. When He says that He loves us with an everlasting love, He means it. On the day that I gave my life to Jesus, it was because of His promise, "I am with you always." That said love to me in a big way, perhaps because it met the greatest need of my heart.
I wish I didn't have doubts, but the upside of that is that when I have to ask Jesus yet again if He's still with me, I get blessed yet again by His affirmative answer :)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
God's Humor
From Jana's science book: When the squirting cucumber is ripe, it drops from its stalk, leaving a hole in the end of the fruit. The seeds are shot out of this hole. Some seeds are shot as much as fifteen feet away from the plant.
It makes me want to go get a watermelon and have a seed spitting contest so God can enjoy it with us, because I get the impression that He gets a kick out of that kind of thing.
It makes me want to go get a watermelon and have a seed spitting contest so God can enjoy it with us, because I get the impression that He gets a kick out of that kind of thing.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Abba's Heart
I went several days being busy and feeling like God wasn't very close, because I wasn't taking time for just connecting with Him. If that goes on too long, I get unhappy, so I took a little time and asked the Lord to show me His love. He did! In a short while too, since I had to get back to making dinner. He reminded me of the father of the prodigal son (in Luke 15); while the son was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.
The son was coming, but the father was RUNNING. That's the heart of Abba. He wants us. Wholeheartedly. Forever. That took care of my unhappiness! I love the way God meets the needs of my heart with His love, and I pray that His love will touch your hearts today.
The son was coming, but the father was RUNNING. That's the heart of Abba. He wants us. Wholeheartedly. Forever. That took care of my unhappiness! I love the way God meets the needs of my heart with His love, and I pray that His love will touch your hearts today.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
A Surprise/End of the World/Significance
(Those are three different topics)
A Surprise
I was praying with a lady named Margo (I think that was her name) the other day. We were praying about bad attitudes I have had toward my father. Margo went over some Scripture that really spoke to me: Romans 8:33-34 "It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns?" Ephesians 2:4 "God...is rich in mercy" Matthew 11:28 "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." This ministered to me so much. Every Christian knows that God forgives us, but during that prayer time I was surprised to realize that I hadn't really been believing that. And what a heavy burden was lifted when I received God's abundant mercy and forgiveness!
My prayer request: please ask God to help me hang onto this truth. It's so hard on me (and those around me) if I don't. Thanks. I've got the above verses in a place where I see them every day, and I just love this reminder of God's great kindness.
Also, I just want to say that it's so wonderful to pray with someone and see God meet the needs of the heart.
End of the World
This is from the September issue of Scientific American which I happened to see at the library:
"Ultimate Doomsday"
"Time can end in a disquieting variety of ways, according to Einstein's general theory of relativity. For instance, when a black hole forms, the density of matter increases, which intensifies the force of gravity, which further increases the density, which further intensifies gravity, and so it goes until density and gravity both become infinite--a condition known as singularity. Matter ceases to be, and time runs out for that region of space. A similar fate could befall the entire universe." Hmmmmmm. This article was fascinating, and the whole issue is filled with scientists' thoughts about the end of the world.
Significance
I really want to be used by God in a big way to help people. And the type of ministry that I've been pursuing isn't a very good fit with my gifting, which was causing me a great deal of consternation, because there's always that huge desire for significance. Then God showed me John 17:22, when Jesus said to God: "I have given them the glory that You gave me". Looks like we're very significant even without a ministry.
God bless you,
Sandy
A Surprise
I was praying with a lady named Margo (I think that was her name) the other day. We were praying about bad attitudes I have had toward my father. Margo went over some Scripture that really spoke to me: Romans 8:33-34 "It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns?" Ephesians 2:4 "God...is rich in mercy" Matthew 11:28 "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." This ministered to me so much. Every Christian knows that God forgives us, but during that prayer time I was surprised to realize that I hadn't really been believing that. And what a heavy burden was lifted when I received God's abundant mercy and forgiveness!
My prayer request: please ask God to help me hang onto this truth. It's so hard on me (and those around me) if I don't. Thanks. I've got the above verses in a place where I see them every day, and I just love this reminder of God's great kindness.
Also, I just want to say that it's so wonderful to pray with someone and see God meet the needs of the heart.
End of the World
This is from the September issue of Scientific American which I happened to see at the library:
"Ultimate Doomsday"
"Time can end in a disquieting variety of ways, according to Einstein's general theory of relativity. For instance, when a black hole forms, the density of matter increases, which intensifies the force of gravity, which further increases the density, which further intensifies gravity, and so it goes until density and gravity both become infinite--a condition known as singularity. Matter ceases to be, and time runs out for that region of space. A similar fate could befall the entire universe." Hmmmmmm. This article was fascinating, and the whole issue is filled with scientists' thoughts about the end of the world.
Significance
I really want to be used by God in a big way to help people. And the type of ministry that I've been pursuing isn't a very good fit with my gifting, which was causing me a great deal of consternation, because there's always that huge desire for significance. Then God showed me John 17:22, when Jesus said to God: "I have given them the glory that You gave me". Looks like we're very significant even without a ministry.
God bless you,
Sandy
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Outlive Your Life
This is the title of a very challenging study by Max Lucado. Our small group is going through this together. Here's one of the questions Max asked: How would you tell your story of why you need God? What has God done in you that changed your life from what it was before?
Here's my answer: Around y2k, which was also the year of my fifth pregnancy, I decided I needed to work on being a kinder and gentler mom. I tried, I prayed, I tried, and I tried some more. And six years later it became abundantly clear that I had some major character flaws that were making me a not-so-good parent, and I hadn't been able to become the mom my daughters needed me to be, in spite of my efforts. I now see that this was the beginning of a major learning curve. My failures were part of God's plan. With the help of the amazing people at Exchanged Lives Ministries, as well as some other dear Christians, I began to see that my frustration was necessary for me to give up on trying to change myself. I began to realize that I was created for a dependent relationship with God, abiding in Him as I walk through my day. The branch cannot live independently but must draw its life from the Vine. I used to grit my teeth and try to be kind when the kids were trying my patience. Now I turn to Jesus and let the kindness flow out of my heart where He lives. The battle of faith is to believe that this is true (I haven't forgotten my unloving moments in the past, even the recent past). It is true! Jesus lives in His people!
I was thinking about Matthew 11:28-30, when Jesus said, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Do-it-yourself Christianity isn't a light burden. It's a killer burden, not to mention impossible. But Jesus says, "Come to Me." That's all we do. We come to Him, and all the strength, all the love, everything comes from Him. That's the easy yoke. That takes all the pressure off us. Ahhhhhh, that's more like living!
Here's my answer: Around y2k, which was also the year of my fifth pregnancy, I decided I needed to work on being a kinder and gentler mom. I tried, I prayed, I tried, and I tried some more. And six years later it became abundantly clear that I had some major character flaws that were making me a not-so-good parent, and I hadn't been able to become the mom my daughters needed me to be, in spite of my efforts. I now see that this was the beginning of a major learning curve. My failures were part of God's plan. With the help of the amazing people at Exchanged Lives Ministries, as well as some other dear Christians, I began to see that my frustration was necessary for me to give up on trying to change myself. I began to realize that I was created for a dependent relationship with God, abiding in Him as I walk through my day. The branch cannot live independently but must draw its life from the Vine. I used to grit my teeth and try to be kind when the kids were trying my patience. Now I turn to Jesus and let the kindness flow out of my heart where He lives. The battle of faith is to believe that this is true (I haven't forgotten my unloving moments in the past, even the recent past). It is true! Jesus lives in His people!
I was thinking about Matthew 11:28-30, when Jesus said, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Do-it-yourself Christianity isn't a light burden. It's a killer burden, not to mention impossible. But Jesus says, "Come to Me." That's all we do. We come to Him, and all the strength, all the love, everything comes from Him. That's the easy yoke. That takes all the pressure off us. Ahhhhhh, that's more like living!
A Poem and a Story
Jana (age 9) wrote a poem about playing checkers:
Checkers is very weird,
It makes me very bored,
I sleep through every game,
It makes me very bored,
I lose every game I play.
That's how I feel about checkers too. I'd rather clean the bathroom.
Here's something I really like: I love to read. And I love bookstores. Especially when I find a really good book for a really low price. That did happen to me recently, and the way it happened is pretty interesting. I was at the Family Christian store with Jeff and my daughter Elizabeth. There was a man down the aisle from me looking at books. After a few minutes he walked up to me as I was skimming through one of Joyce Meyers's books. He said, "Are you looking for a particular book?" Then he told me about a book outlet at Iliff and Chambers where old books from the libraries are sold at very low prices. He said, "You never know what you'll find." I said, "Thanks, I like books." I watched him as he left the store, thinking, this guy is either an angel or Santa Claus. In any case, I know he was sent by God because the news he gave me was a big blessing for this bookworm/lover of bargains. I told Jeff about this conversation, and his comment was, "Do you think he was an angel?" Jeff also knows of my love of books.
THEN....at my first opportunity I went to the book outlet. I bought five books and a booklet. The total at the register was $2.50. No kidding. Most of these books are on the nightstand waiting for me to find time to read them, but one of them I have started reading with my daughters: In My Father's House by Corrie ten Boom. We've had a whole lot of fun sipping tea and hot chocolate and reading this book together. We're only on chapter 4, but here is my favorite part so far: Corrie told of a day when, as a young child, she inadvertently broke a rule at school and was slapped in the face by the headmaster. She said that when she got home that day, crying, "Mama took me on her lap and comforted me; and when I had quieted, Papa held me in his arms as he did when I was a baby. I can still feel the sensation of safety as I put my head upon his shoulder. What a security to have a refuge when life is really hard!"
"Forty-five years passed.....The gestapo had arrested me, and I was being asked the location of the secret room in which I had hidden four Jews and two underground workers. I realized that if I told, it would mean prison and possibly death for the six people who were there, so I didn't tell. The interrogator slapped me on the face, and at the same moment I recalled the backyard of the school, the angry headmaster, and Mother and Father's comforting help."
"'Lord Jesus, cover me!' I cried."
"'If you mention that name, I'll murder you!'" shouted the man. But his hand stopped in midair and he couldn't beat me any longer."
"What a security to have a refuge when life is really hard!"
Amen.
Checkers is very weird,
It makes me very bored,
I sleep through every game,
It makes me very bored,
I lose every game I play.
That's how I feel about checkers too. I'd rather clean the bathroom.
Here's something I really like: I love to read. And I love bookstores. Especially when I find a really good book for a really low price. That did happen to me recently, and the way it happened is pretty interesting. I was at the Family Christian store with Jeff and my daughter Elizabeth. There was a man down the aisle from me looking at books. After a few minutes he walked up to me as I was skimming through one of Joyce Meyers's books. He said, "Are you looking for a particular book?" Then he told me about a book outlet at Iliff and Chambers where old books from the libraries are sold at very low prices. He said, "You never know what you'll find." I said, "Thanks, I like books." I watched him as he left the store, thinking, this guy is either an angel or Santa Claus. In any case, I know he was sent by God because the news he gave me was a big blessing for this bookworm/lover of bargains. I told Jeff about this conversation, and his comment was, "Do you think he was an angel?" Jeff also knows of my love of books.
THEN....at my first opportunity I went to the book outlet. I bought five books and a booklet. The total at the register was $2.50. No kidding. Most of these books are on the nightstand waiting for me to find time to read them, but one of them I have started reading with my daughters: In My Father's House by Corrie ten Boom. We've had a whole lot of fun sipping tea and hot chocolate and reading this book together. We're only on chapter 4, but here is my favorite part so far: Corrie told of a day when, as a young child, she inadvertently broke a rule at school and was slapped in the face by the headmaster. She said that when she got home that day, crying, "Mama took me on her lap and comforted me; and when I had quieted, Papa held me in his arms as he did when I was a baby. I can still feel the sensation of safety as I put my head upon his shoulder. What a security to have a refuge when life is really hard!"
"Forty-five years passed.....The gestapo had arrested me, and I was being asked the location of the secret room in which I had hidden four Jews and two underground workers. I realized that if I told, it would mean prison and possibly death for the six people who were there, so I didn't tell. The interrogator slapped me on the face, and at the same moment I recalled the backyard of the school, the angry headmaster, and Mother and Father's comforting help."
"'Lord Jesus, cover me!' I cried."
"'If you mention that name, I'll murder you!'" shouted the man. But his hand stopped in midair and he couldn't beat me any longer."
"What a security to have a refuge when life is really hard!"
Amen.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
We Need Each Other
A couple of Sundays ago, Pastor Jay shared a story about a 3-year-old girl named Lori who wanted her mom to help her put on her pj's. Her mom said, "You know how to do it yourself." To which Lori replied, "People need each other even when they know how to do it themselves." It reminded me of when I was four or five years old, and it was time to get ready for bed. I wanted Mom to put my jammies on for me. She did, even though she was busy taking care of my younger siblings. I think I just wanted some tlc from Mom, and it was so good that she was there for me, even though I could have taken care of myself. She was being a good example of unselfishness, kindness, patience, humility, and mommy-love.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Unconditional Love
"I will hear what God the Lord will speak, for He will speak peace to His people and to His saints; but let them not turn back to folly." Psalm 85:8
I was struck by this verse the other day, and my thought was that if I don't have peace in my heart, then I need to start listening to God. I was aware of a lack of peace in me, the chronic kind that goes back as far as I can remember, so that it's now a way of life.
Later I was on the phone with my sister, and I told her that I don't do instant messaging because I feel bad when I have to end the conversation. She said, why do we have so much guilt? I said, "I don't know."
Then yesterday I told my daughter Liz that I could pick her up when she was done with classes, around 1:00. But I had forgotten that I was having lunch at a friend's house and wouldn't be available to pick Liz up. I couldn't call my daughter while she was in class, so I just became preoccupied with worry that she'd be angry at me. I had no reason to be worrying about this. She called me mid-morning and I apologized and told her she'd have to stay at school and take the bus home. She wasn't angry at all.
I share this because this is how my mind works every day. I wrote in my journal that I get tired of feeling condemned. In my mind it's not OK to be imperfect or to not make life go smoothly. Because perfection is the only way to stop the (inaudible) accusing, angry voice. I keep expecting everyone, even God, to be angry at me if I mess up even a little.
I decided to read Romans 8 because I like the part where it says, God is the one justifies; who is he that condemns? That's verses 33-34. But when I started reading, God was speaking to my need long before verse 33. Verse one says, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Thank You Lord!
Then I went to Hosea 2 because it's such a beautiful story of how God approaches sinful people. He says, "I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her. I will give her her vineyards from there, and the Valley of Achor (trouble) as a door of hope; she shall sing there....And it shall be, in that day," says the Lord, "that you will call Me 'My Husband', and no longer call Me 'My Master,' for I will take from her mouth the names of the Baals [idols], and they shall be remembered by their name no more." ....."I will betroth you to Me forever"....."Then I will say to those who were not My people, 'You are My people!' and they shall say, 'You are my God!'" There's not an ounce of anger or condemnation in this. Instead the Lord not only is going to marry the sinful woman, He also is going to give her a heart that loves and worships Him, so that she forgets her love of idols. He does it all!
To close, I'm going to share some lyrics from 10th Ave. North that I heard when I was worried that Liz would be mad. This was very comforting to me, and I think it reflects God's heart. The song is "By Your Side":
Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let Me lift up your face
Just don't turn away......
'Cause I'll be by your side whenever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you.
I was struck by this verse the other day, and my thought was that if I don't have peace in my heart, then I need to start listening to God. I was aware of a lack of peace in me, the chronic kind that goes back as far as I can remember, so that it's now a way of life.
Later I was on the phone with my sister, and I told her that I don't do instant messaging because I feel bad when I have to end the conversation. She said, why do we have so much guilt? I said, "I don't know."
Then yesterday I told my daughter Liz that I could pick her up when she was done with classes, around 1:00. But I had forgotten that I was having lunch at a friend's house and wouldn't be available to pick Liz up. I couldn't call my daughter while she was in class, so I just became preoccupied with worry that she'd be angry at me. I had no reason to be worrying about this. She called me mid-morning and I apologized and told her she'd have to stay at school and take the bus home. She wasn't angry at all.
I share this because this is how my mind works every day. I wrote in my journal that I get tired of feeling condemned. In my mind it's not OK to be imperfect or to not make life go smoothly. Because perfection is the only way to stop the (inaudible) accusing, angry voice. I keep expecting everyone, even God, to be angry at me if I mess up even a little.
I decided to read Romans 8 because I like the part where it says, God is the one justifies; who is he that condemns? That's verses 33-34. But when I started reading, God was speaking to my need long before verse 33. Verse one says, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Thank You Lord!
Then I went to Hosea 2 because it's such a beautiful story of how God approaches sinful people. He says, "I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her. I will give her her vineyards from there, and the Valley of Achor (trouble) as a door of hope; she shall sing there....And it shall be, in that day," says the Lord, "that you will call Me 'My Husband', and no longer call Me 'My Master,' for I will take from her mouth the names of the Baals [idols], and they shall be remembered by their name no more." ....."I will betroth you to Me forever"....."Then I will say to those who were not My people, 'You are My people!' and they shall say, 'You are my God!'" There's not an ounce of anger or condemnation in this. Instead the Lord not only is going to marry the sinful woman, He also is going to give her a heart that loves and worships Him, so that she forgets her love of idols. He does it all!
To close, I'm going to share some lyrics from 10th Ave. North that I heard when I was worried that Liz would be mad. This was very comforting to me, and I think it reflects God's heart. The song is "By Your Side":
Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let Me lift up your face
Just don't turn away......
'Cause I'll be by your side whenever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you.
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