Fall Break

Monday of fall break was a really hard day for me. I got after my teenagers, probably about helping with the housecleaning, if I remember right. They didn't like my adversarial approach, and it went downhill from there, to the point where I was wishing for the week to be over. By the end of the day, I felt like a total failure as a mom, and was wondering how to get my girls to believe that I don't hate them. Sigh.
The next day I read the parable of the prodigal son because I needed to. The prodigal made up a speech: "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants." This is exactly how I felt.
Today I read that parable again. It occurred to me that I'm always going to feel unworthy if I think I have to make myself worthy. But, to quote Relient K, the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair. In other words, I don't make myself worthy; I just receive grace. I love the way the father interrupted the prodigal's speech to announce that it was time to party. His reasoning is very interesting: "...let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." How does a person go from death to life, from lostness to foundness? Not by fixing oneself, but by going home to Father, the life giver. This makes me feel sooo blessed, to be loved like that!