Sesame Chicken

I was trying a new recipe, sesame chicken, and there were some challenges. I burned the teriyaki sauce. I was hurrying to get supper ready in time for Liz to eat before she went to youth group. My mental and emotional state weren't the best. It was a flesh moment, meaning I was trying to make things work and forgetting about Jesus.
Jeff started sharpening my French knife--he likes to be helpful like that. Instead of appreciating this, I said, "I was hoping to use that knife." I wanted him out of my way, because it's easier for my stressed-out mind to think when I am alone. He handed me the knife and left the kitchen.
Later as I was trying to figure out why I get harsh and unappreciative toward my husband, I discovered anger in my heart, but it wasn't anger at Jeff. I was angry that my cooking project might be unsuccessful. I struggle quite a bit with perfectionism. My anger was fueled by fear: fear of failure, fear caused by a lie. The lie is that if I don't do everything right, I'm a bad person.
The truth that sets me free from this lie is that God doesn't look at my performance to decide whether I'm good. He only looks at the fact that I have trusted in Jesus as my Savior and Life, and He has put his Holy Spirit in me. So even if Liz went to youth group hungry (which she didn't), I'm still a good person because Christ lives in me (see Galatians 2:20). I thanked the Lord for this truth, and asked Him to keep me believing it even when I am tested.
My perfectionism takes my emotions to a place that is miserable. I don't like being angry. I don't like feeling unforgiving and unforgiven. I don't like to wreck relationships. I feel so sad when I'm not seeing God's unconditional love, and I'm not giving that kind of love to others either. I so need to be accepted with all my issues, but I fear that I won't be accepted. This is what God showed me: perfect love casts out fear. I closed my eyes and pictured myself on His lap with His arms around me. It was very comforting. The Lord was happy to have me there, as long as I wanted to stay. He wants us to be like little children in His arms, basking in His love (Mark 10:14-16).
May God bless you with His love.