Jesus Cares about Our Desires

"Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, 'Do you want to be made well?'" John 5:5-6

John Eldredge, in his book The Journey of Desire, commented on this scripture: "Jesus took him back into the secret of his own heart. By asking him what he wanted, Jesus took the man back into his desire. Why? It is where we must go if we are to meet God...Christianity is not an invitation to become a moral person. It is not a program for getting us in line or for reforming society. It has a powerful effect upon our lives, but when transformation comes, it is always the aftereffect of something else, something at the level of our hearts."

Does Jesus really care about what we want? We know that Jesus cares about everything that concerns us, but do our hearts really believe it? Mine has questioned it. Look at what the Bible says:

"Lord, lift up the light of Your countenance upon us. You have put gladness in my heart." Psalm 4:6-7

"How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of your wings. They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures." Psalm 36:7-8

I know that because Jesus lives in me, He has put good desires into my heart. When I desire something that's bad, it seems there's always lack of faith underneath it. If I want to be honored by others instead of seeking to glorify God, it's because I fear that I'm worthless without the applause. Well, how can this be true? No one is worthless if God lives in them. If I prefer to avoid rejection rather than taking the risks involved in loving others, it's because I can't bear the thought of the emotional pain. Do I not believe that the Lord will be there for me when life gets painful? Often I don't, and consequently the dysfunctional desire overrides the godly desire to love.

What about other good desires? Like the man in John 5 who had the infirmity, I want Jesus to heal me; I want spiritual healing. Jesus recognized that as a legitimate desire. The Bible says He's already done that (1 Peter 2:24), but we need God's Spirit to help us see what we've already been given, and to believe it.

A big desire for me is rest. I think it'd be nice if I didn't always feel like stuff was "hanging over my head". Can you relate? Again, it has to be OK with Jesus if we want this, because He promises to give it (Matthew 11:28-30). I strongly suspect that I'm carrying my own yoke instead of Jesus' easy yoke, and that's why there's no rest. I was not created to run my own life. No wonder I get exhausted when I attempt that. Why do I attempt that? I don't believe that Jesus will shepherd me.

Thus are the struggles of Sandra. The cool thing is, the fear and the unbelief are fixable. We don't have to live with our spiritual infirmities. Jesus heals them. Thank You Jesus!