Rock The Range!

Yesterday I woke up with a headache, an anxiety headache. It was going to be a busy day, and I wasn't sure that it would all go smoothly. Jeff and I were going to be counselors at Franklin Graham's Rock the Range Festival, and because I'd never done this before, I wasn't sure I was going to make it to the right places at the right times. My biggest problem was that I was leaving the Lord out of the picture, and I knew it. For awhile now, I've known that I'm not good at trusting Him to help me with whatever I'm facing. I certainly wanted to change that, but it wasn't happening in spite of my efforts and prayers. So I sent up a prayer of desperation (probably God's favorite kind of prayer). I prayed that the Lord would get through to me and help me to trust Him. "I'm tired of feeling alone," I told Him. Specifically, I was tired of feeling like I have to work through all of life's trials, challenges, irritations, and difficulties by myself. I wanted HELP. When I said amen, I knew that help was coming. At least I have walked with Jesus long enough to know that He always shows up.

And He did.

Several bands played at Rock the Range, and one line in the song "Lift Me Up" (by the Afters) spoke to my heart: "In this moment I surrender to Your love". It seems odd that we'd have to surrender to God's love. Shouldn't we just bask in it and enjoy? But all of a sudden it became clear to me that the Lord has this ocean of infinite love FOR ME, but I wasn't receiving it. I had come to appreciate His friendship and His comfort, but I hadn't accepted His help (even though I had faithfully asked for it). I'd been feeling like it was me against the world. That's a bit overwhelming, yes? I began to realize that everything I need is there for me; all I have to do is accept it. Jesus' words, "Abide in My love" (John 15:9) took on new meaning for me. I've known that He meant: get to know My affection for you and let it flow through you to others. Now I see that it also means, let Me shepherd you, share My wisdom with you, take your hand and lead you EVERY step of the way. For probably the first time, my heart was connecting with the truth that Father is present with me for not just the fun and fellowship but also for the work and trials. Of course my brain had known this before. But last night my heart received this as a new revelation.

Later in the evening, Skillet sang, "This is the last night you'll spend alone."

I have never been alone.

But now I'm seeing that more clearly.

I pray that everyone who reads this will see that more clearly too.

Here's the chorus of "Lift Me Up":

"You lift me up when I am weak

Your arms wrap around me

Your love catches me so I'm letting go

You lift me up when I can't see

Your heart is all that I need

Your love carries me so I'm letting go"

The only way we're going to let go is if we know that His love catches us. It does.